Cut that shit out

I like school.  I like me some reading', writin', and 'rithmetic.  I even like listening to the professor speak, especially when they are passionate about whatever they are talking about.  What I don't like is the stupid bitch in the front of the class whose main goal in life is the be more irritating than a cold sore.  Is it so important to you that the entire class knows that you know the answer to every single question the professor asks?  Even the rhetorical ones?  What the fuck happened in your development that you seek out every little bitty pinch of self-righteous validation from everyone around you?  Or did your daddy just tell you that you are a princess and can do or have anything that your little beautiful heart desires?  Because that man was lying to you and he should be in prison for raising such a little twit.

About 30 minutes in to class and I'm starting to get used to you incessantly vocalizing your need for attention, but then this happens.  The professor plays a video for the whole class to watch and the purpose of this video is twofold: first, the video is meant to deceive us.  Secondly, the video is meant to demonstrate a topic we are learning about from the lecture.  The video is intended to deceive us to reinforce a point the professor is making.  That's the WHOLE POINT.  This is a psychology course.  We are learning about the subconscious.  And when the clip is over and the whole class is so excited that they were a part of this communal deception slash exciting learning experience, you raise your hand and proceed to inform the instructor and the entire class that you knew all along what was going on.  Because heaven forbid you look like a fool in a crowd of 100 other fools!  Idiot.  

I don't like you, and somehow, in all of that brilliance running around in your head, you did not pick up on the fact that the entire class was ready to ostracize you and send you to a University down the road.  We don't think you are smart.  We think you're a brat.  Cut that shit out.  

Why are you here?

I love being outside.  I love watching the trees change colors as the seasons change, a constant reminder that no matter what I am going through, life keeps happening.  I especially love the wildlife.  Oh the squirrels and the birds and even the creepy crawly critters that I keep a safe and respectful distance from.  How beautiful to find a world free from the noise and distractions we've come to associate with normal life.  How ethereal it feels to be among it.  To be apart of it.  What an escape.

I love kayaking down the river where I can watch the fish and the birds.  When I go for a nice long run I want to be in a place free from the pollution of humans, whether it be noise or trash or their drunken hoots and hollers.  A place where I can get away from the world and escape. It's such a peaceful experience, one I couldn't do without.  No loud noises.  No obnoxious post-pubescent pre-adult nonsense who respect the size of their muscles and the fit of their clothes more than the beauty of the world around us.

It's not just me who treasures these experiences so much.  Many people share in this with me.  I see them every time I go. They come to enjoy the trails and the trees and the river.  To enjoy the escape.  We come to get away from the cells phones and the loud music.  We want to replace the chime of our iPhones with the chirp of a bird.  We come, rain or shine, hot or cold, and pay homage to this world that so little know and so little respect.  Year-round we are here.

So, why are you here?  What motivated you to leave your dwelling that I myself am pleased keeps you at bay and out of my life and come to this place that you neither seem to respect nor deserve to be a part of.  You come with your ice-chests full of beer and liquor, your loud music blaring so loud that even the birds can't hear their own chirps.  You scream and yell and act juvenile in front of your comrades because what would they think of you if you weren't acting like a complete
tool?  You pack the parking lot with your giant trucks, and when you leave you leave empty beer cans, food wrappers, and whatnot sprawled all over the place.

What's worse is you come here once, maybe twice a year.  You come on the sunniest of days, when the weather man tells you to go play outside because it will be nice.  You decide today you are an enthusiast.  An outdoorsman.  When in reality you are a disgrace to this world.  You ruin it for the rest of us.  The rest of us who come here to seek answers to questions other than the cup size of the girl you want to bang once you get her drunk enough.  We want to experience a facet of this world where you are not.  That is specifically why we come, so we can pretend that you don't exist.

Do us all a favor and find another place for you and your nonsense.